HOW DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
- A dog's time in the bathroom is
confined to a quick drink.
- Dogs don't expect you to call when you
are running late
- The later you are, the more excited
dogs are to see you.
- Dogs are excited by rough play.
- Dogs don't mind if you give their
offspring away.
- Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
- If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't
hate it.
- Dogs don't shop.
- Dogs like it when you leave lots of
things on the floor.
- A dog's disposition stays the same all
month long.
- Dogs never need to examine the
relationship.
- A dog's parents never visit.
- Dogs understand that instincts are
better than asking for directions.
- When a dog gets old and starts to snap
at you incessantly, you can shoot it.
- Dogs like beer.
- Dogs don't hate their bodies.
- Dogs agree that you have to raise your
voice to get your point across.
- Dogs don't let magazine articles guide
their lives.
- You never have to wait for a dog. They're
ready to go 24 hours a day.
- Dogs find you amusing when you're
drunk.
- No dog ever put on 100 pounds after
reaching adulthood.
HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE
- Both look stupid in hats.
- Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in
one sitting.
- Both tend to have "hip"
problems.
- Neither understand football.
- Both look good in a fur coat.
- Both are good at pretending that they're
listening to every word you say.
- Neither believe that silence is golden.
- Both constantly want back rubs.
- Neither can balance a cheque book.
- You can never tell what either of them
is thinking.
- Both put too much value on kissing.